Swedish has a number of subtleties designed to keep furriners from learning the language of glory and heroes™. A famous one is the genders of our nouns, where almost every one is either of our two neutral genders — apparently haphazardly selected. Another one is certain non-trivial uses of the definite article suffix: you can’t say “I’m looking for that record by Roy Zimmerman, you know”, you have to say “I’m looking for that record-the by Roy Zimmerman, you know”.
A particularly good thing we’ve got going is that we don’t have any verb corresponding to “to put”. Instead, everything you would put in English or mettre in French is laid, stood, poured or stuffed onto or into something. This offers endless opportunity for furriners to get it wrong, even if they have an otherwise perfect command of the language.
Of course you can’t lay beer in a glass or stand peanuts in a bowl. But what about a low plastic box of cookies you place on a counter — is it stand or lay? It’s stand, because the box has a base. To legitimately lay that plastic box somewhere, you would have to find a soft surface, such as a pillow, where it would be impossible to stand it. Suggesting that you might lay a bottle on a shelf is a big no-no. “It would roll off”, explains the exasperated Swede. A bread dough in a bowl must be stood in the fridge, because if you say you want to lay it there, then you are suggesting that you take the dough out of the bowl and slap it nude on the fridge shelf.
Even if you do learn all these details, Dear Anglophone Reader, you’re still never gonna master our weird vowel sounds. Mysig Ã¶lmÃ¶ssa, fula du! So you might as well give up already.