Ancient Seeress Foresees Twilight of Gods and Scented Candles

This is priceless. There’s a line of scented candles and other spa treatment paraphernalia called Voluspa. Volu-spa, get it? Now, the firm shows no awareness of what their chosen name means. Völuspá is a long Old Norse poem in the Poetic Edda, dealing with the creation and eventual destruction (and re-creation) of the world. It’s title means “Prophecy of the Seeress”, and it’s known as one of the most majestic pieces of writing in its language. With this name, the candlemakers are either just oblivious, or they’re judging that their target market doesn’t know much about the Viking Period.

I am now going to start a bakery, marketing my pretzels as Heimskringla and my cakes as Ecclesiastes.

Thanks to Beatrice Waller for the heads-up.

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9 thoughts on “Ancient Seeress Foresees Twilight of Gods and Scented Candles

  1. I’d vote for oblivious. The packaging appears to be in something resembling English, though I haven’t the faintest idea what “Santiago Huckleberry” is supposed to mean (the words have meanings separately, but you would not expect them to be paired). The other one, “Baltic Amber”, is only slightly less ridiculous. So there is no evidence in the photo that the manufacturer is Scandinavian. Even if they are, they are obviously targeting an international market.

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  2. It’s surprising how many names slip past a simple google search. Two of my favorites:

    Mediocre Pharmaceuticals and Vecna Technologies. The second one might be a tiny bit obscure, but to those who get it, it’s hysterical. Ironically, it’s a healthcare company 😉

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  3. Hmm, if the spa treatment is going to be effective, I imagine a setup with a sacred spring you must dip into to have your diseases removed. Of course, it would require a human sacrifice for each time. I suggest you summon Hellboy to put a stop to them.

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  4. “Santiago Huckleberry” is probably a wacky cartoon dog-cowboy with a big curly moustache, a poncho and a sombrero [directed by Tex Avery; voiced by Mel Blanc].

    By the way, I’d advise strongly about taking any of their “Ragnarøkkr” range of scented candles into a locked bathroom with you. Just sayin’.

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